I Forgot to Put My Mask On First

A Journey to Wellness and Renewal in Midlife

by Dr. Arlonda Stevens

A copy of I Forgot to Put My Mask On First by Dr. Arlonda Stevens, a memoir and self-help book for middle-aged women.

Midlife isn’t a crisis. It can be an invitation to personal renewal and renaissance.

Maybe you have spent years being the one people could count on.

You built the career. Raised the children. Showed up for family and friends. Took care of responsibilities. Stepped in when someone needed help. And somehow, no matter how full the plate became, you figured out how to carry it.

I understand that woman because I have been that woman.

And sometimes, when we become so accustomed to taking care of everything and everyone around us, we don’t immediately notice how little attention we are giving ourselves.

We aren’t necessarily falling apart. In fact, from the outside, we may look like we’re doing just fine.

But inside, we may be tired. Disconnected. Going through the motions. Or quietly wondering, “When did I get so far away from me?”

That question — and the journey that followed — is part of what led me to write I Forgot to Put My Mask On First.

Although this is my story, my hope is that somewhere within these pages, you recognize pieces of your own.

I Forgot to Put My Mask On First is available September 28, 2026

Pre-sales are open now.

Pre-Order Your Copy
Dr. Arlonda Stevens, author of I Forgot to Put My Mask On First, sits on the grass beside a tree while writing in a journal.

The Story Behind the Mask

I remember being on a flight during a time when I was feeling particularly depleted.

Through divorce, an empty nest, and rediscovering myself as familiar roles began to change, I found myself looking more closely at my life — not only at how I cared for myself, but also at relationships, identity, expectations, letting go, purpose, peace, joy, and what I wanted this next season to become.

Some lessons came gently. Others came through experiences I never would have chosen. And some I didn’t fully understand until I had enough distance to look back and say, “Now I see what that season was teaching me.”

Those lessons became part of my journey toward wellness and renewal. And eventually, the lessons became this book.

More Than a Self-Care Book

I Forgot to Put My Mask On First is a powerful reminder that self-care and soul-care are not selfish — they are essential.

But this is also a book about the wisdom we gather from the lives we have lived.

When I talk about putting your mask on first, I don’t mean making your life all about you. And I certainly don’t mean that we stop caring for the people we love. I mean remembering that you belong in the life you are working so hard to hold together.

That your well-being matters. That your voice matters. That the things you want, need, and value deserve your attention, too.

One of the things I discovered on my own journey is that renewal required more than taking better care of myself inside and out. I also had to become willing to look at my life.

Really look at it.

What had my experiences taught me? What was I still carrying because it was familiar — not because it still belonged? What had changed in me? What mattered now that, perhaps, hadn’t mattered in the same way 10 or 20 years earlier? And what kind of life did I want to create from everything I now knew?

Those are some of the conversations I invite you into throughout this book.

Through my personal stories, lessons learned, affirmations, reflections, and practical exercises, you’ll have space to consider your own life — not so you can become someone completely different, but so you can reconnect with the woman you are now.

As you read, my hope is that you begin to:

  • Release some of the guilt that can come with caring for yourself;
  • See your well-being as necessary rather than optional;
  • Recognize the wisdom you’ve gained from what you’ve already lived;
  • Think more intentionally about what you want this next season to hold; and
  • Begin taking meaningful steps toward a life that feels more aligned with who you are today.

I don’t have a formula for a perfect life. In fact, I don’t believe one exists.

What I can offer is what I learned from my own journey — and a place for you to pause long enough to listen to what your life may be saying to you.

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A person meditating an reflecting on the RAVE Framework found in 'I Forgot to Put My Mask on First'.

Pause. Reflect. Reset.

At one point in my own journey, I realized that I was asking myself a lot of questions about what was next. But before I could answer “What’s next?”, I needed to understand “Where am I now?”

That process for my own healing journey became the foundation for the RAVE Framework:

Radical Reflection → Authentic Awareness → Bold Vision → Embrace & Execute

RAVE isn’t about rushing toward the next goal. It begins with reflection. Because sometimes before we decide where we’re going, we need to understand where we’ve been. We need to become honest about what has changed, what we still value, what no longer fits, and what we want to carry forward.

Then and only then can we begin creating a vision that actually reflects the woman we are becoming.

Throughout the book, I’ll invite you to pause and do some of that reflecting for yourself. Not because I have your answers. But because I believe you may already carry more of them than you realize.

If You See Yourself Here, Then Maybe This Book Is for You

You want more peace. More joy. More room to breathe.

More alignment between the woman you have become and the way you actually live.

If any of that sounds familiar, I see you!

Renewal doesn’t always begin with a crisis. Sometimes it begins with a quiet realization: I want this season to be different.

You may already sense that this season of life can hold greater peace, greater joy, greater love, and greater fulfillment. But you also know that experiencing that kind of “greater in your later” will require you to become more intentional about how you care for yourself, what you make room for, what you release, and how you choose to live.

If you recognize yourself somewhere in these words, maybe this book is part of your invitation to pause.

To reflect.

To reset.

And to begin again — with yourself included.

Not because everything in your life needs to change, but because you’re ready to live with more intention and design a life that feels more fulfilling.

Perhaps I Forgot to Put My Mask On First can be one of the places where that conversation begins.

A group of women reading and discussing the book 'I Forgot to Put My Mask on First'.
A group of women reading and discussing the book 'I Forgot to Put My Mask on First'.

If You See Yourself Here, Then Maybe This Book Is for You

You want more peace. More joy. More room to breathe.

More alignment between the woman you have become and the way you actually live.

If any of that sounds familiar, I see you!

Renewal doesn’t always begin with a crisis. Sometimes it begins with a quiet realization: I want this season to be different.

You may already sense that this season of life can hold greater peace, greater joy, greater love, and greater fulfillment. But you also know that experiencing that kind of “greater in your later” will require you to become more intentional about how you care for yourself, what you make room for, what you release, and how you choose to live.

If you recognize yourself somewhere in these words, maybe this book is part of your invitation to pause.

To reflect.

To reset.

And to begin again — with yourself included.

Not because everything in your life needs to change, but because you’re ready to live with more intention and design a life that feels more fulfilling.

Perhaps I Forgot to Put My Mask On First can be one of the places where that conversation begins.

Give Yourself a Place to Start

I Forgot to Put My Mask On First: A Journey to Wellness and Renewal in Midlife is more than a story to read. It is a space to reflect, write, and begin thinking intentionally about what you want your next chapter to hold. If you’re ready to move forward with greater clarity, peace, and purpose, this is a meaningful place to begin.

Pre-Order Your Copy
A copy of I Forgot to Put My Mask On First by Dr. Arlonda Stevens, a memoir and self-help book for middle-aged women.

Official Release Date: September 28, 2026

 

Pre-sales are open now.

Dr. Arlonda Stevens in a pink blouse, author of I Forgot to Put My Mask On First

About the Author

Dr. Arlonda Stevens is an author, speaker, certified positive psychology health and well-being coach, and founder of the Midlife Renaissance Collective. Drawing from more than three decades of professional leadership as well as her own lived experience navigating major life transitions, Dr. Arlonda helps women embrace change, navigate transition, and design fulfilling next chapters.

Her work encourages women to approach midlife not as a crisis, but as an opportunity for reflection, renewal, and intentional living.

Learn More About Dr. Arlonda